A bit of Perspective

I have to stop and put things into perspective. This year Thanksgiving was such a wonderful experience for me. I still have days where I have to pinch myself to make sure this is not a dream.
From the day Brian and I were married almost 14 years ago, we knew we wanted to have a child. We began trying about a year into our marriage and when a year later we still werent pregnant we sought help from a fertility specialist. We tried various treatments and medicines off and on again until the only thing left to try was in-vitro fertilization. This was a $15,000 procedure that would have given us about a 20% chance of becoming pregnant.
After much prayer and many breakdowns trying to come to terms with the fact that I may never be a mother, Brian and I both decided that becoming parents was much more important to us than me actually giving birth to a child. It was harder for Brian than it was for me, I simply wanted to me a Mom, the way it happened wasnt as important to me. The days of trying and failing month after month brought such deep despair for me, I felt like a failure and it was so incredibly hard to watch our dear friends grow their families even though I was so happy for them and excited to see their dreams being fulfilled. It is so hard for anyone to understand wanting a child so desperately and feeling so out of control of the situation.
It is so miraculous to me that out of the deepest disappointment month after month, year after year has come THE SWEETEST BLESSINGS FROM GOD. Even now after Two years with them, sometimes in a store, I walk past a toy or see something and for only a brief moment I feel that pang of emptiness because I dont have a child to share it with, only to remember that those 11 years I felt that feeling day after day are OVER!!! I do have a child, and not only one but 2!! It was only 2 short years ago it was the saddest time of my life. My sweet Mom had just passed I wondered if I would ever be able to feel happiness again. So this year on Thanksgiving I have to stop and give Thanks for my many blessings!
What a glorious gift from God are Logan and Kennedy. I feel like I have won the lottery every day only so much better, these children are so much a part of my life it doesnt matter to me that I didnt give birth to them. I could not love them anymore, it brings tears to my eyes to think about how very much they are loved. I pray that each and every person who has a desire to become parents and cannot get pregnant will consider an avenue of adoption. Take it from me every time they wrap their tiny arms around your neck or you hear them say "Momma I want you to hold me" you will be forever glad that you did. Adoption is a gift that gives back to you every day of your life!!!!